Anybody read the short story in the news from Monday night about a little girl on Facebook that posted about knowing she might die that night? You probably missed it or if you did read it you shook your head, sighed, and moved on to the next story before your coffee got cold. She hasn’t died…yet, but here is the short version.

Her mother, unemployed and destitute, with two young children tried in vain to get food stamps. She wasn’t asking for billions of dollars in financial bailouts or free money to support a drug habit. She was asking for food stamps, to which she was legally entitled to feed her children. The system, in four states, let her down. She had moved to Texas, and in one final attempt had found rejection once again so she took her children, barefoot and hungry down to Health and Human Services. This time, however, she brought backup. A loaded gun.

Rachelle Grimmer, 38, and her two children stood in the office while she pointed a gun after being refused one more time because of red tape. A spokeswoman for the department stated that Grimmer hadn’t been rejected. “She had just received a notice that her case was closed, since she did not provide all of the necessary documentation during the department’s 30-day time frame and that she absolutely could have applied again.”  After a five hour standoff Rachelle shot her two children and then herself. She died at the scene, and her children are in critical condition. Earlier in the standoff little Ramie Marie, 12, had posted to Facebook at an office computer “may die 2day.”

She missed the 30 day deadline. Rules are rules. That is departmental policy. Of course she could have applied again the spokeswoman compassionately reminded reporters, and she was right. Those are the rules. We are a capitalist society. Suck it up. Follow the rules. Every man for himself, and that applies to all of us. Oh, wait. Not ALL of us. Only the poor, the troubled, the weak.  When the weak animals are captured and killed in Africa it is called culling the herd because it has gotten so big and out of control. I suppose that is just what we are doing too.

FOOD! A basic necessity. A loaf of bread, and cup of water. Shoes on their little feet. Are we not better than this?! What has become of our society that people from HEALTH and HUMAN SERVICES refuse to provide the very service they are tasked with giving. To drive a desperate mother to murder/suicide all because rules were not followed to the letter? Perhaps she was too hungry or had no way to get to the office or a myriad of other issues. These were starving children, and NO ONE cared! She could have applied again the spokeswoman cried. Really?! Seriously?! And what were her starving children supposed to do until the paperwork got put through and her food stamps were issued?

What have we become?! Where did we go wrong?! Our founding father’s are turning in their graves at the state of the state. My brother, who fought for our freedom and way of life is turning in his grave. Where is our “hope” Mr. President? I voted for you. I believed in you. Where is our “compassion” for fellow man Congress? WHY are people falling through the cracks, children starving, people desperate with fear?

The banks are fat and happy, and America is dying. My America. The one I have cherished all my life. I am disgusted! I am angry! I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of the way things are done here! I am sick of the top 1% of my America deciding what the rest of us have to “live” with. THIS is NOT MY America, and I don’t want her anymore if she is like this. We either stand up and fight or we die trying.

At times in life we are faced with insurmountable ethical dilemmas, and it is a test of our character as to how we proceed. There are many varieties of quandary, but all come with a question, a choice of solutions, and a consequence. Whatever road we take, we must decide on the course individually for no one can make that call for us, and in the end we will have to live with our actions. Ethics, in and of itself, can be a question of legal or illegal behavior, but most often it is a judgement call on values. Unfortunately values are also not universal. What one may see  as the right thing to do others will see as a flaw in one’s character.

A few days ago a good friend related how he refused, as a marine in the gulf war, to shoot another human being. Admirable to say the least, but perhaps an easier decision in light of the fact he was not being shot at himself.  Would he have felt the same way if a gun was pointed at him, or a fellow soldier? Yet another friend told me of a time when she was faced with doing the right thing or walking away. Walking away could mean letting someone else taking the blame and suffering a damaged concience, while doing the right thing could mean accepting responsibility and paying a hefty price, but keeping her integrity.

Again, the difficult part is that too often ethical decision making is inherently flawed at best. One person’s set of values may not connect with the majority and vice versa. Is it right to use an excuse of ethics when it suits one’s own agenda? Or is it permissible in our world of eat or be eaten? At times the right thing to do for one’s self preservation may destroy another, and while that person may deserve to be called out it is no less a difficult decision to make.

Perhaps Shakespeare said it best: “Fair is foul, and foul is fair.” ~MacBeth, Act1, Sc. 1. Hurt or be hurt.

Why is it that Starbucks, and places like it put a smile on our faces? I cannot speak for everyone, but I can tell you that from my own experience it can change an otherwise dreary day into one of hope. This may sound a bit overstated, but bear with me for a moment.

As a society we have become one with our computer, and sadly that means we find ourselves locked away behind a keyboard and screen for most of our day. This also means that we do not “get out there” and greet the world like we used to. Yes, there are social networking sites like Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, and hundreds more, but we are socializing through a computer screen! I am a big fan of these sites and belong to a few of them.  In fact, I have caught up with many old friends from various stages of my life that I thought I had lost contact with forever so I am definitely a 21st century geek in very real proportions; however, they do not replace being out in the public and meeting new people.

So, this week I have been feeling a bit down. Perhaps it is the change of seasons. Perhaps it is the state of the economy. Perhaps it is that I know I have a mountain of grades to post, or perhaps it is the fact that I had a summer cold. Whatever the reasonI knew that I needed to get back “out there.” So, I packed up my briefcase and headed out to my favorite Starbucks, and here I sit with a grin on my face.

Starbucks and my “skinny latte” have not changed the state of the economy or posted any of my grades for me, but it has brightened my mood. I can sit here for hours working and watch people come and go. Some have become familiar faces over the months, while others are new and transient customers grabbing a bit of caffeine during their whirlwind of a day. We all have one thing in common. We took a moment to be part of life; part of something greater than our own momentary pathos. Could be just a nod or a smile. Could be a lengthy discussion on economics with a group of regulars. Could be sharing a table with a stranger. It doesn’t really matter. It forces us to connect; in the literal way and not through a fiber optic cable.

The moral to the story here is that we can all let the sorrows of our lives and the world get to us until we drown, but if we take a moment out, and connect with the world around us we will all start smiling again.  Even if just for a brief moment over a grande, double, half caff, soy, sugar free vanilla, iced, upside down latte.

Oh, and hold the whip.

A few weeks ago I went to see the movie “Bucket List“, and although I enjoyed it very much it really did have a much deeper meaning. For those of you that have not seen the film it is about two older men facing terminal illnesses and how they become friends and decide to see and do everything they can on their list before they ‘kick the bucket’; hence the name of the movie.

So this got me thinking – I have been to most, if not all the places visited during the movie, but what would I put on my list? If I was told I had six months to live I certainly wouldn’t spend it waiting to die. I would do just as Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman did and try to accomplish everything I could on my list before my departure. What a better legacy to leave than having really enjoyed life right to the end?

Because I have traveled extensively throughout my life it took me quite some time to come up with exactly what I would do. With that in mind, for now some of the things on my bucket list would be, and not in any specific order, the following:

1. See the great migration in the Serengeti

2. Win the lottery just so I could have the fun of giving it all away to those that are less fortunate

3. Drive a Lamborghini on the Autobahn

4. Go to Antartica

5. See the polar bears in their natural habitat

6. Climb Machu Picchu

7. Find out who my father’s birth parents are

It’s a pretty short list for now, and I’m sure I would think of a lot more if I really did only have six months. How about all of you? Anyone want to share their list?

Reprinted from my blog at a national travel magazine

Well, it has been two weeks since I wrote last due to our wonderful Thanksgiving holiday, but I wanted to share a story with you about this delightful little day from a traveler’s perspective.

As a professor of International Business & Business Ethics, I spend quite a bit of time teaching my students about the fine art of understanding other cultures so it is always a thrill for me to be able to share with them situations when people in a foreign land take the time to understand our customs. Especially in these troubled times, it is important that they learn that we are not always viewed negatively abroad. Thanksgiving is a perfect example.

I have taken the opportunity many times to spend the holiday abroad as well as the years when I lived in London. Although Thanksgiving is, of course, a uniquely American holiday, you would be suprised at how other countries and cultures have begun recognizing it on behalf of American visitors. Last year, I spent the holiday in Italy. On Thanksgiving Day, I happened to be in Venice, which I will admit is now on my top ten list of places to visit. Now, I don’t think it is possible to be unhappy in Venice, whether it is a holiday or not, but one always has a twinge of sadness when on foreign shores on a day like this. As I walked the alleys of this most romantic of cities, I knew I could console myself with a delicious plate of pasta, a lobster tail and a glass of fine wine, but, alas, the pang was still there for the smell of my sister’s homemade rolls and pies baking in the oven. Just then, I began noticing that many of the restaurants were offering special “Thanksgiving menus.” When I asked one of the restauranteurs why they were doing this, he simply explained that they were touched that we would spend this very American holiday in Italy rather than around the family table back home. I confess I was also touched.

When I was in Costa Rica on the holiday many years ago, I also found it charming that people everywhere would wish us a “Happy Thanksgiving” the minute they discovered our nationality. When I lived in London my friends and colleagues couldn’t wait for the holiday to roll around to come to my house for the feast. In Hong Kong one year a hotelier was offering Thanksgiving dinner in the restaurant, albeit with a few local delicacies added into the mix; one of the more interesting interpretations I have experienced.

So, never be afraid to take the rare four day holiday to get out of the country and see the world. You might be surprised at how much you learn to love Thanksgiving all over again. Oh, and by the way, this year I ate rolls and pies at my sister’s house, but I was dreaming of pasta and wine….

Reprinted from my blog at a national travel magazine

I have been coming to South Africa regularly for over fifteen years now, but have been coming here in my dreams since childhood. As American children, we hear bedtime stories of elephants and lions, giraffes and zebra and are told that somewhere far off in the world there is a real place where they live. As adults we discover that it is a troubled place and always has been, but then in today’s world, what place isn’t? You see, there is heartache and beauty around every corner.

Africa is a continent that bewilders most, but if you look deeper than today’s headline news you will see a land that has weathered the centuries like a grand lady. In one of the native languages the “magogo” comes to mind. Grandma or grand old lady, and that is what she is; the cradle of humankind.

In South Africa there are too many places to experience to name in this short blog, but if you ever get the chance to come here (and I highly suggest you do) get out of the city and head for anywhere. Just a short drive from Johannesburg or Pretoria is a little jewel called Sun City. It is a resort town bordering on Pilanesberg National Park. You can choose to stay in accommodations from two to five star in this beautiful little man made resort enclave nestled in the countryside and wile away the hours by the pool, take in a little gambling, eat at wonderful restaurants or even play golf at a Gary Player course. One of the best parts, however, is the location. Being right next to the national park you can take a game drive or even drive your own vehicle in. Either way it is something you really must do. You will most likely see all of the fantastic creatures you fell asleep to hearing about in those storybooks as a child, and believe me, it never gets old.

Wherever you choose to go to in this part of the world, you will experience a lot coming at your senses. The sounds, smells and tastes of Africa. Storybooks or television shows do not do it justice, but remember you will have to leave your preconceived notions at the border. Things are not done in your time frame; they are done on African time. In fact, they have a saying here when things get a little tough: “Welcome to Africa!” So relax, accept life as it is here. Meet the people, see the countryside, visit the far-off land of your childhood dreams. Unfortunately, I have to go now, but I will back again soon and I hope to see more of my Americans here someday. But, in the meantime, do me a small favor: when you get here, please send “Magogo” my love.

Reprinted from my blog at a national travel magazine

I come to you from a hard hit Southern California. Yes, this is where I live and have been all my life. I live in the canyons in an idyllic world. This week we have been devastated by fires and it happens to us every year this time. You may wonder why this blog is on a travel magazine site, but I want to tell you something about my state that not everyone knows.

Yes, we have earthquakes, mudslides and fires. Every year this time we hold our breath as the famous Santa Ana devil winds come through. A client asked me the other day why we keep rebuilding and moving back and I have a simple answer. After all is said and done, we love this place and feel so lucky to have it. People all over the world dream of coming here to visit or live; they dream of Hollywood, Malibu, San Diego and everything that comes with it.

Yes, we’re a bit quirky when the lights are shining on us, but we’re also real people. I would love to tell you all of the stories about how the people of Southern California stand side by side and help one another during times of need, but there just simply isn’t enough room here. I will, however, tell you two small stories. One is about a good friend of mine that was evacuated and had nowhere to go with her five dogs. A complete stranger found on the Internet handed her and her mother the keys to his motor home and told her to feel free to move it if she wanted to. He had never even asked for her last name, much less identification. He just knew he had to help. The next one is about the brand new Radisson Rancho Bernardo. A friend of mine from Sony told me about how the hotel, due to have already opened, kept closed to house any employees from Sony Electronics in Rancho Bernardo that had been evacuated or even just wanted to store cars. So, you see, we are no different than Kentucky, Mississippi or New York on 9-11. You probably don’t see us as anything more than a giant movie set, but we’re no different. Houses lost are homes, memories and so much more.

I also want to take the time to thank firefighters from all over the western US for rushing to our aid. You will never know how much we wish we could repay you for your brave and selfless work.

My hope now is that you all come and visit us sometime and help us rebuild our beautiful place. Come here on vacation. Hang out on Hollywood Boulevard, or the beaches in Malibu and San Diego. Go to Disneyland, Sea World, Magic Mountain. We may be a little down right now, but I promise we’ll show you a great time.

Reprinted from my blog at a national travel magazine

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to travel the world and be able to communicate with anyone, anytime? Well, you can. No, I’m not suggesting you learn every language on the planet, nor am I implying that you should take a crash course in all 21 official languages of South Africa before venturing on your safari – unless you have a photographic memory, but I digress.

The reality is that communication comes in many forms and language is only one small part of that equation. In fact, all cultures communicate nonverbally to one degree or another. I’m sure all of us have been flashed a variety of gestures in foreign countries when we do something wrong, or have been smiled at for doing something right. These are forms of communication and they are quite universal.

When I was in rural China quite a few years ago I met a very elderly woman, from a generation of foot binding and no modern conveniences, and we had been invited into her house as our driver knew her well. It was as if we had stepped right out of a page of National Geographic and I was fascinated by how she lived. More than anything, I wanted to take a photograph of her, but had to think of a way to ask. To not ask could be very offensive. Now, of course I didn’t ask her in English, nor did I attempt it in my very basic knowledge of Mandarin! I also took a moment to realize that this woman may never have seen a camera before, much less understand what a photograph was. So I thought about what I could do to communicate with her my desire to capture her on film (yes, it was still in the days of film). Luckily, it was a small Polaroid, so I took a photo of my traveling companion and showed it to the woman as it developed. The frail lady must have shoved the photo in my hand and grabbed it back at least a half a dozen times. I wasn’t sure if she was frightened of it or intrigued. Well, it turned out to be the latter because then I pointed to the camera and to her, and to my great surprise, I saw one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen! I decided to take two photographs so I could give her one as a gift, and as we were driving away she never stopped staring at it. She was even grabbing passersby to show them her magic image.

A gesture, the lift of a brow, a smile. Anyway you look at it, the door to the world opens up when you make contact with another human being and take a chance at communicating any way you can.

Reprinted from my blog at a national travel magazine